This is the story of how I fell in love with a spider and the divine message that Spider shared with me about consciousness.
One day, I fell in love with a spider.
I couldn’t explain why.
I couldn’t tell you whether it was a male or female.
Only that this beautiful spider called to me.
She was there when I climbed the stairs to go into my house one day, hanging out in her large web that she made with one of the columns from the awning and a flower pot. She had these yellow markings that made her stand out; the black and yellow was striking.
I was not one to be familiar with spiders. I had broken webs if they were not conducive or in the way. Often, the spider was vacant, but on a few times, I had told the spider, I’m sorry, you will have to make your web elsewhere, as I need to access my flower pots!
Every day, I would climb the stairs and see this beautiful creature sitting there in her web.
I marveled at her.
I would just look, just taking her in.
No words, no thoughts. No “this is so beautiful.”
Just looking, just being.
That was all.
The day came when the next day the man would come to spray for the spiders. My landlord was quite the control freak. Everything had to be just so, and insects were not part of appreciation, whether on the stoop or back balcony.
I was going to tell Spider, but I forgot.
So, when I came climbing up the stairs that day, Spider was no more.
Instead of the brilliance of being shining through rays of yellow interested with black void was a corpse hanging by one leg onto a wet web sprayed with poison. Her body was shriveled and puckered, as if an implosion had happened inside.
I burst into tears.
Really, what was the matter with me? What had gotten into me, crying over a spider?
But tears were running down my cheeks and I did nothing to stop them.
I went inside the house.
All this meditation, had I now become mad?
Not mad, but wise. Or wiser.
Revelation was there.
See, the beingness of every creature? See, how before, so veiled by mind and its noise, how I could not even see beauty when it was there before my eyes? See, how it was not so much about Spider, but about beingness, about the one energy that pervaded all? See, how even in one little sentient being called Spider was the whole of the universe, just there, inside?
Stop to smell the roses, or so the expression goes.
And here it started, not with roses, but with Spider. Soon, it would include wasps, snails, ants, earthworms, and trees. Yes, the trees have much to share, but allowing is needed.
Yes, it was this allowing that had happened. It was this shift in consciousness that was there, this receptivity that before had been tainted by mind.
Now ego was dissolving, the energy thrown back to beingness.
If you would only but see, said Spider, I who have multiple eyes, yet the true eye that sees is the eye of consciousness.