In this second episode, I discuss a meditation technique similar to the one in episode 1, only now, instead of doing it solo, you are looking at the actors of ego while you are with other people.
A bit of background to this meditation technique: initially, before I even tried the technique in episode 1, I did a meditation technique where for 1 day, I looked at everything like it was a play, and I was watching the actors that showed up. I called this, “being an actor for a day.” At that time, I didn’t have a list of my ego actors, so the feeling that came was how surreal life was. FYI: Listen to the 1st podcast HERE.
When I did the technique in episode 1 for a good amount of time (a few months), it gave me a list of my actors, so I was aware of these ego patterns in myself.
The next challenge was to observe these actors while with other people, hence this second meditation technique, which for me has evolved to something that I do every day. Indeed, meditation is to become a part of everyday life, not just some solo “activity.”
The technique is the same, which is watching the actors that are there. Most probably, there are new actors that were not there before, as other people have their egos which will trigger yours. Over time, see which actor shows up with certain people, places, and events. You can give each actor a name, see what the script is (what the mind talks about), the emotions that come, and how the actor behaves.
Remember not to judge, just to watch what the ego is doing. With this list of actors, you can then start to “intervene,” or bring awareness to the programs, e.g., when this person says this, this actor is there and always reacts in the same way. When this event happens, this actor is there and there is always this emotion that is there.
Then you can start to ask yourself if this is the way you want to show up and if this actor needs to be there. Since you’ve been watching the actors, you also know you are not the actors, and can now choose to think, feel, and act in a different way. Often the “right action” ends up coming from the stillness, from the witnessing self.
Many of the smaller programs that have little momentum or less weight are easy to be seen, while the heavier ones are too dense and you will end up identifying with them. Osho termed it in having a distance or space between the witnessing self and the actor. Over time, the smaller programs will dissolve, or, when they come up, you can easily choose to redirect your attention back to the witnessing self and ignore them. In ignoring them, they have no energy, so cannot be there.
With the heavier programs, they require more time to dissolve, more time to bring your light and awareness to them time and time again. This is just how it is for most, and is why awakening is called a process: you go from being more aware to less aware, sometimes fully identified with the ego where there is no watching, and sometimes fully able to watch and be in the silent space. Like a pendulum effect.
Over time, this meditation technique ends up being an everyday reality, and you will always have some awareness of whatever actor is there. Even if the actor is very heavy and is loaded with rage or anxiety, there is still an awareness of the actor, still some space, even if it is small.
I mention a few jokes of what Jerry Johnson had said and Osho: you thought you were fu*c*ked when you were identified with the ego and now that you are working on yourself, it feels like you are more fuc!Ked than before! However, as I mention from my own experience on the path, you don’t miss the old ways of being. While there is a pendulum effect, that is just part of the process at this current time in human evolution, and the peace, joy and stillness moments that arise are indescribable. I also mention that once you are on the path, the ball is rolling, and like a snowball going down a hill, it will continue to gather momentum to its ultimate destination, which is a reality that you are that already: the spacious being (soul/spirit) inside the body.
Osho joke: so, you come to me with all that baggage and want me to help you, but on the other hand you are so attached to your ego. And then I try, but then you thwart me and I do my best, and here I was thinking that now that I am enlightened I can rest, and the universe tells me that my work is never done, and I now have to put up with helping you to realize your own enlightenment?? What new hell is this?!
Also: just enjoy your unenlightenment, because once you are enlightened, it’s all over baby! And you cannot become unenlightened again!
Final Notes: I do so love Jerry A. Johnson, Osho, Mooji, and Eckart Tolle. I have benefitted from their words of wisdom, so when I mention them, I use the word paraphrasing because I am using “Cat’s” words to express what they said. Case in point: while Jerry did say awakening to who you are may feel worse than when you were in “ignorant bliss of ego identification,” I don’t think he swore about it ? If you are interested in the Taoist Tradition, medical qi gong, martial arts or Chinese medicine, you can find out more HERE and HERE.
For Osho: the website can see you reading his books, listening to the radio, or hearing podcasts on the app.
Eckart Tolle: can see many clips on YouTube, buy his audiobooks, sign up for his courses, and see him live at retreats.
Mooji: many clips on YouTube, can read his book, listen to podcasts, or in-person or online satsangs.