Humorous Advice On Canadian Winter, Written in Question And Answer Style.
Q: Is there fashion during Canadian winter?
A: Sure, snow pants and ski jackets come in many colors.
Q: Does thermal underwear work?
A: Of course! Just make sure to pair it with snow pants.
Q: Does everyone live in igloos?
A: Sadly, no. It would certainly save a small fortune on the heating bill.
Q: Is it true that you can go running in shorts during Canadian winter?
A: Well, if you’re crazy enough to, you can certainly go for it.
Q: How long does Canadian winter actually last?
A: That depends on how you define cold. But for argument’s sake, let’s just say about 9 months, give or take 1 month (there’s a frost warning until May, it can be rainy in June, and cool nights start by end of August).
Q: Do people hibernate during the winter like polar bears?
A: Sadly, no. We have things to do, like shovel the driveway and de-ice the car.
Q: Do you get snow days off work and school?
A: Um, no. In the old days, that was a real thing. Now it’s stay at home and go at it on the computer.
Q: Do you really need to wear cleats/crampons to get around during the winter?
A: Unless you’re “in” with the snow queen and the black ice king, yes.
Q: Do people leave their house when it’s really cold out?
A: Not if they can help it.
Q: Does everyone play hockey in Canada outside?
A: Nope. There are indoor skating rinks open all-year ‘round (although some folks really don’t care for the sport).
Q: I heard the sun goes down at 4 pm. Do people go to sleep at 4pm?
A: Heck, no! Light or dark, work and play still go on.
Q: What can you do to stay warm during the Canadian winter?
A: Make your electric blanket your best friend!
Q: What should you wear during the winter?
A: First, make sure you wear a thermal top and underwear. Then, wear a ski jacket and snow pants. Also, you need a fleece lined hat, scarf and gloves. Don’t forget to wear a ski mask. Wear wool socks and boots rated for -30C weather. If you still feel cold, don’t leave the house.
Q: How come Canadians don’t get grumpy during the Canadian winter?
A: Oh, they do, they do. They make nasty X’s on their Google calendar to count-down the days until spring. And, they look at warm, sunny pictures of Florida and California during their coffee breaks, and plan their spring break vacation down there.
Q: Do Canadians go out when it’s really cold?
A: Yep! -15C to -20C is the usual norm around here, and you can find everyone (even good ol’ Fido) engaging in winter sports called sledding, skiing, snow shoeing, skating and ice fishing. Now -30C is when you want to go it solo and get in a little “me” time, as the streets will be filled with the stark beauty of snow, ice and blustery winds sans humans.
Q: Can you go jogging in Canada when it’s really cold out?
A: Sure! There are all kinds of snow activities you can do, like snow shoeing, snowboarding, snow mobiling, winter hiking, winter biking, and ice climbing. So long as you are fine with snow and ice (and dress super warmly), you’ll do just fine!
Q: Do dogs need to wear snow booties?
A: It would be a good idea, yes, as when it’s really cold out, you’ll find dear ol’ Fido peeing right there on your door stoop, and then making a beeline back inside for the joy and comfort of home sweet home. Seriously, frost bite is REAL for both humans and pets.
Q: Do Canadians get fat during the wintertime?
A: The extra fat padding is a welcome sign that winter has indeed arrived, which actually starts in mid-October with Canadian Thanksgiving. While it’s technically still fall, Canadians ease into the ensuing colder weather from freezing 0C to sub-artic temps of -10C, -20C, -30C, and beyond. In a nutshell, looking like a Micheline tire marshmallow is a perfectly natural phenomenon.
Q: Are polar bear plunges during the Canadian winter a real thing?
A: Yep! Whether it’s -40C or warmer, the more the merrier, as the true north stands cold and free.
Q: Are Canadians polite because it’s so cold during the winter?
A: Whatever the weather out, sorry is a staple word like maple syrup, tourtiere and sugar pie. Sorry! It’s just a Canadian thing :)